Category Archives: Handling Disappointment

Whining about Whiners

Whining isn’t cute when a two-year-old does it. It is soul-crushing to a team when a grown person resorts to whining about a non-preferred task. I have to be careful not to whine about whiners so this post will be short. If you don’t like something that is necessary, simply realize that everyone else probably feels the

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Theoretical Dreams

Sometimes dreams are not just theory that can be debated. Dreams can be necessary for a viable future to become possible. Dreams that seem too high may be the only possible opening for the team’s success or existence. To dismiss dreams as too difficult or too unreasonable is to say no to the lifeboat that inconveniently comes

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Lowering the bar?

Life can be tough for those of us with high expectations. Maybe it’s an expectation of faster results or a positive response? High expectations can set us up for disappointment. That disappointment can mess with us. It can cause us to question ourselves and others. What if our expectations were unreasonable in the first place? Would that

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New Mistakes

Mistakes are inevitable but old mistakes should disappear as a team improves. New mistakes show that the team or individual is progressing. They are learning and moving on with care to avoid the things they have learned don’t work out for the best. Old mistakes demonstrate a lack of care and a recklessness that prevents the team

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Owning Equals Change

The ownership of a mistake is not completely found in words that say the right things without laying any blame. That’s a good start but true ownership is demonstrated in changed behavior as result of solid reflection on what caused a mistake. Saying sorry over and over for the same mistake is as annoying as blaming others

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True versus Fake

Pride is a projection of phony confidence to compensate for a vulnerability I am not comfortable exposing. My pride attempts to guard what I perceive to be my weakness. Pride seems confident but true confidence resides in a peaceful contentment with who I actually am. Pride has an anxiety tell that reveals a lack of true confidence.

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Symptomatic

The only real difference between pride and insecurity is circumstance. This might seem counterintuitive but pride and insecurity are really symptoms of the same sickness, a lack of confidence in who we actually are. The difference is that good circumstances feed our prideful story that make us feel better than we are and our bad days expose

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Quitting

Actually quitting is more respectable than faking it and convincing others to quit for obvious reasons. If someone is not up to a challenge, it is actually noble to step aside to let someone else take the spot on the team to face the difficulty. Quitting is not always bad if it is strategic. It is bad,

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The Quitter’s Choices

We have all quit something. I bet that most of us have rarely quit based on a spontaneous thought that caused us to walk out on a commitment. This is because, in our culture, there is a stigma for quitters. Most of us don’t want to endure the reputation of being a quitter. This causes a dilemma

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Choose

Believing people can change is more difficult than it sounds. This is because we respond to disappointment with a memory marker that will try to protect us from trusting the source of that disappointment in the future. This doesn’t mean we are a terrible and judgmental person. It just means that we are a person. The reality

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