Category Archives: Handling Disappointment

Choose

Believing people can change is more difficult than it sounds. This is because we respond to disappointment with a memory marker that will try to protect us from trusting the source of that disappointment in the future. This doesn’t mean we are a terrible and judgmental person. It just means that we are a person. The reality

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Inconvenient Experience

There is a time for convenience and a time for challenge. Our job should be made more convenient when it comes to tedious tasks and steps in a process. Our work should be streamlined to allow us to be as efficient as possible. Convenience should allow us to work smarter and not harder. Unfortunately, there are times

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Choosing Frustration

Frustration is inevitable but it doesn’t have to be perpetual. Our expectations are often the source of our frustrations. When our expectations are unreasonable, we are more likely to be frustrated. People often struggle with lowering expectations and therefore exist in a chosen perpetual state of frustration. They do this because they refuse to see the world

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Reframing Frustration

For me, frustration is best defined as that feeling I experience when I am unpleasantly surprised. This happens all the time because I am not clairvoyant and, despite how much I think I can predict an outcome, I get it wrong a lot. In order for me to be a great teammate I have to manage my

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Getting Your Wind Back

I remember the first time that I got the wind knocked out of me. Just like everyone, I thought I was going to die. Eventually I got my wind back and calmed down. There is something to the correlation between lack of breath and panic. Logically, breathing is always a priority but strategically, it becomes even more

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Responding Correctly

Every team deals with the moment when everything seems to go wrong. We respond correctly to “emergency” situations when we categorize our response in stages. The typical stages include: Breathe (limit emotion) Assess Triage (do what you can) Repair (do what you should) Learn When we categorize our response to adversity, we allow ourselves to manage our

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How We Tell It

We tell our minds different versions of each moment or circumstance. A defeat can motivate us to work harder and smarter so that we can eventually overcome an obstacle or opponent. That same defeat can cause us to become insecure and adopt a loser mindset. We always have a choice of what version of the story we

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It’s a nice place to visit.

Comfort is what we seek when we are sad, disappointed, scared, or hurt. There is a time and place for comfort but we should understand that comfort is not a place that will grow us in any way. It’s a great place to rest and that is important. However, comfort will never grow us. It will never

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The Danger of Entitlement

Entitlement is a scary attitude that creeps along unnoticed until just the wrong moment. Entitlement is sneaky because it only rears its ugly head when someone doesn’t get their way. Teammates always show their quality in the moment of disappointment. Great teammates understand that the team’s benefit takes priority over personal preference, comfort, and expectations. They also

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The Disappointment Test

Every team loses at some point. Every team gives up a touchdown or a home run at just the wrong moment. It’s the moment immediately following disappointment that determines the quality of a team. Do they respond with backing down and accepting the fact that things didn’t go as planned? Do they turn on each other and begin

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