Category Archives: Handling Disagreements

Bitterness Isn’t Healthy

Anger that is bottled up and well controlled has a healthy resolution. Bitterness can feel like managed anger because it usually is, but it doesn’t really end well…nor does it want to. Well controlled anger sees an end of the tunnel. Bitterness is a form of quiet anger that flares up when it gets an opportunity. Well

Read More

Slow Burn

We all have our triggers…something that sets us off. Today, anger seems to be the flavor of the week when it comes to emotional status, but anger is rarely noticed when it’s done well. Anger only gets noticed when someone loses it. Anger can quietly burn in the background motivating someone to endure or accomplish something they

Read More

Long-suffering

People can change. You cannot be a great teammate if you don’t believe that. Belief that people can change allows teams to develop without fear of some constant grudge or judgement. Constantly proving someone wrong who has us pigeon-holed based on our worst moment can be exhausting. Working alongside people who not only believe we can improve,

Read More

Zombie Cat Boxes

Truth can seem very philosophical but it is really simple. Contrary to what many people would like to believe, truth is exclusive in that it can’t coexist with whatever is contrary to it. Two separate unrelated realities can be true at the same time but two possibilities that are diametrically opposed cannot be true at the same

Read More

Bitterness Proof

Teams that commit to resolving conflict need a two-way approach. Every conflict has two sides and those sides are not always wrong or right. Many times both sides are a bit of both. The best way to safe guard against bitterness is to make sure that if I am offended, I make it a point to talk

Read More

The Virus in the Data

Passive-aggressive bitterness is a dysfunctional form of deception that distracts from the team’s purposes and goals. I use the word deception because everyone else is deceived into thinking the shift in attitude or tone has nothing to do with the small offense that has grown in the mind of the offender. Passive-aggressive behavior that hides conflict and

Read More

The Passive Approach

It’s sometimes nice to overlook a minor offense but even that leaves the health of the team dynamic to chance. A passive approach becomes passive aggressive when the person who has hurt feelings has difficulty letting go of the offense begins to subtly retaliate against the offender. That retaliation can look like a shift in support, attitude,

Read More

The Direct Approach

Every team must choose to either be passive about conflict or to take a more direct approach. The culture of every team is obvious after the first big blow up. What does the team do after the dust settles? Do they follow up and talk about the impact of what just happened? Or do they act like

Read More

Bitter Seeds

Great teams do not leave anything to chance. This is especially true of conflict. Conflict is something every team will face. What separates a team from another is how they respond to conflict. I have observed that most team dysfunction is centered on the team’s ability to handle conflict in a healthy way. Dysfunction holds a team

Read More

Counting the Cost

Conflicts always have a cost, though these are not always costs that can be counted. Conflicts change a team’s dynamic and, therefore, the cost is the status quo. Some conflicts get resolved and reputations are strengthened. Other conflicts can cost a team trust or a teammate altogether. Regardless of the outcome, the hurt that lingers following a

Read More