Category Archives: Emotional Security

Inoculating Against Regret

Regret is a tough thing to overcome. It can become a hang up that limits our potential as a team or teammate. Regret is the chronic ache of a memory that we have a difficult time letting go of. I find that when we learn from failures and leverage a negative experience into something productive, I am

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Emotionally Secure Empowerment

It takes emotional security for a leader to extend the kind of trust that empowers without the need to approve everything. Leaders that do this rob themselves of the opportunity to have others earn their trust over and over again. Most people that are competent enough to take responsibility should also be given the authority to decide

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The Sheriff

When people gain authority without a firm foundation of emotional security, they end up behaving like that sheriff in the Wild West that would rather be feared than respected. Conflicts become more confrontational than they need to be because they want everyone to know who is in charge. They see people as the problem and pursue them

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Getting Found Out

Nothing manifests insecurity like authority. Insecure people tend to have a negative view of authority because they believe the role of authority is to catch them in the wrong or where they fall short. This insecurity stems from the very real fear that what I am doing isn’t good enough and the person in authority has both

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Social Media Misdirection

Insecurity is really just our constant worry of being found out. We all know that we are not as good as our Facebook status portrays. We are every bit as human as the next person but our constant comparison of what people see versus what I see in myself is chronicled on my social media posts. In

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What do I see?

My perception is always shaded by my emotional security. If I am emotionally secure I see a safe world to operate in. I see others as opportunities to help or learn. When I am insecure, I see the world through a different lens. Others become a threat to all I hold dear. I shift to a more

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Shaming to Unity

Character assassination seems to be all the rage for a culture that demands conformity. Teams that behave this way never accomplish much. It’s true for the catty cheerleading squad, a judgmental church, and the politically split United States of America. Unity that is achieved through shame and ignominy is not really unity. It’s a fear-based system of culture

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Thoughts on Thoughts

How does your thinking affect you? Insecure people become more anxious and impatient. Secure people become more confident and patient. What thoughts dominate your day? Perhaps your mood could improve if you took control of your thinking. When we let our thoughts run unchecked, we become a slave to them. Taking time each day to assess the narrative

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Winning Well

Emotionally security is also necessary to handle winning well. Not everyone wins consistently and I am convinced that the reason why is that not everyone is prepared to handle the win. To quote the Joker, they are like the proverbial dog chasing the car, not knowing what they would do if they were to ever catch it. Sadly too

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The Applause Test

I have been around competition my entire life. I believe that it is easy to spot a wanna-be and a real competitor. Real competitors appreciate great performances. They don’t care whose it is. They don’t care if it is their own or someone else’s. They don’t care that they are a male getting outshone by a female. They don’t care how old or

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