Category Archives: Emotional Security

Tool or weapon?

If you are being managed by a micromanager, effective communication will highlight the micromanagement tendencies. Most micromanagers don’t know they micromanage. They are proud of their attention to detail and do not trust that others have the same concerns and attention they have. Effective communication is an amoral tool and in the hands of a trusting and

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Illogical Investment

Image and reputation are not nearly as important as integrity. This statement seems obvious but too often people’s actions prove that they do not actually believe this. Of course it’s the right thing to say and those who want a solid reputation will undoubtedly say they believe it but when push comes to shove watch what people

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A Fearless Coward

Sometimes no action is a fearless act because it takes courage to look like a coward even when the right thing to do is to do nothing. Many times people are fearful of looking foolish or hesitant so they do something brazen out of fear of looking like they are afraid. This is of course ridiculous logic

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Rethinking Must Be Humble

We are overconfident when we think our ideas and plans are complete after a few conversations. Overconfident planners do not look at the various aspects beyond their desired result. This happens when the scale and scope of a project is under-appreciated. We often underestimate our ability to overlook the necessary details required to implement our best ideas.

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False Alarm

Feelings are real but they are not always an accurate portrayal of reality. The chemicals that are released from our emotional triggers cause very real physical responses. The stimulus of those triggers may be a “false alarm” per se when it comes to what is actually happening. This happens when we respond to half of a story

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Managing Anger

Anger seems to be an emotion that many people fear, and for good reason. Unmanaged anger can result in outbursts that can bring both physical and emotional harm. I believe most people are not taught how to manage their anger because they mistakenly correlate the result of unmanaged anger with the actual emotion. Anger can be managed

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Impulse Control

Our emotions are real and they control our ability to decide to act. Put another way, when we care about something, we act. If we care too much or lose control of how we express our concern, we will act impulsively and that rarely has a positive effect except to communicate that we are not thinking. Our

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What Emotional Security Looks Like

I have been thinking and writing a lot about emotional security and insecurity. It’s important to understand what they both look like. We all have insecure moments and we hopefully have emotionally secure moments. What is the difference? I am insecure when my motives focus on preserving my image more than doing the next best thing. Reputation

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The Power of Empathy

Just like insecurity gets in the way of our ability to truly empathize and have compassion on others, it also blocks our ability to connect with our teammates in a deeper way. It’s difficult to get “close” to an insecure person because they work so hard to keep up appearances. Those appearances are not often honest enough

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Irrational

Some people respond to the reality of emotions by wishing them away. They don’t see passion or anger as useful so they attempt to maintain a stoic posture towards the circumstances of life. Many believe that we are most rational when we remove all emotions, as if this is a more clinical way to view the world.

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