Frustrations are a part of every team dynamic. Nothing really goes as planned, so if we expect them to, our disappointment can quickly turn to frustration. Understanding the expectations of a team before the start of any endeavor can help predict the possible frustrations. This is important because there is nothing more challenging in the moment than
When I first started playing football, I wanted to play defense. I was aggressive and stronger than most of my teammates. My coaches would always put me on offensive line because of those same attributes that I thought made me great for defense. I ended up playing both ways but I favored my defensive position. Over time
Great teammates understand that they won’t get to do their favorite tasks all of the time. There is work to be done. Work is often, well…work. It’s not always fun. The best teammates do the non-preferred tasks without question. They don’t complain about how they are passionate about something else. They are passionate about the cause and
Great teams find solutions without focusing on blame. Finding the source of the problem is important to start the path to a solution, but when identifying the source of a team problem results in a scapegoat situation, the team is forgetting that they are in fact a team. Football is a great example. When someone is penalized,
It’s the subtle poison that is most dangerous. Poison that comes with hazard warnings and big red flags are easily dealt with and avoided. Bitterness is the subtle poison on the team because it remains silent in the mind of the offended. The silent nature leaves the offended teammate untreated and the vilified teammate unaware of the
A bitter person sees life through their grudge. When we are bitter we see everything about the teammate we vilify suspiciously. Bitter people make up their mind and therefore only see things that prove how wrong the vilified teammate is and how right they are. They secretly build a case in their mind as they see connections
Our motivations are always private. In fact, it is usually a waste of time to assume the motivations of others unless they actually self-report them. When we hold a grudge against a teammate, our motivations will always be in question. No one will know, but secretly the “why” behind everything we do will have a slightly different
Bitterness changes the way that we think. When we choose to revel in our offended state, we will inevitably see things differently. Bitterness clouds the lens of our perspectives toward the negative. When we are bitter, our mind is made up that whatever caused the bitterness is out to hurt us again. This seems perfectly logical but
Within any team dynamic, we will all experience an occasion where we feel slighted. On every occasion, we have to choose to get over it or become bitter. Bitterness is the immature response to being hurt. It’s a defense mechanism to avoid future hurt. The irony is that in order to operate in bitterness, we must allow
Decisions are difficult even in ideal circumstances. It doesn’t do the team any good to fight for ideal circumstances before a decision can be made. Great teams play their cards right by simply playing the hand that is dealt to them. Making ideal circumstances a prerequisite for making a sound decision is usually a cop out because